However, I've already had THREE wedding nightmares. Two I remember, one I do not. I expected these to start creeping in once we get closer to the wedding, but they seem to know no timeline. No matter how relaxed I am about the process, my subconscious or whatever my dreams are made of just doesn't care.
The first one came pretty early, right after the holidays. I was roaming around our reception venue and I couldn't find Sean, or any of my immediate family. All of our wedding guests were lounging around all over the place - there was no music, no food, it was chaos. I remember at one point Elizabeth and I were walking around with presents wondering where I was going to put them. She decided it would be best to lock them in her car for safety reasons, and that's the last I saw of her. I remember thinking, "this is a disaster!" ...And then I woke up.
The second nightmare happened not long after the first, but I honest to goodness cannot remember what happened. And I think I'm okay with that.
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The third nightmare happened last week. I went to pick up my dress and they told me the dressmaker couldn't make it and had sent a different dress for me to wear. It was AWFUL. It looked like something that a beginner sewer had attempted to make from a pattern she found on Pinterest. The material was that super shiny fake-looking satin material, and it had no train. No bling, either. It was either suck it up and wear that dress or, they said I could try on a dress that I had previously tried on and just sorta-kinda liked. It looked almost exactly like Khloe Kardashian's wedding dress but my curves were not being accentuated in the nice womanly way that Khloe's are... and it most definitely was not Vera Wang like Khloe's dress. But I knew it was better than the shiny fake-looking satin dress they had presented to me. We paid the rest of the bill (in real life, they had better given me that dress for close to nadda!), and as we were leaving the store I stepped down a stair and turned to say something to my oldest sister... and then I woke up.
I've just laughed these wedding nightmares off, mostly because I don't put much stock into what my dreams mean. I know every bride-to-be has them, and they typically never come to fruition.
Besides, as I've said before I have been feeling pretty darn confident about wedding planning...
Besides, as I've said before I have been feeling pretty darn confident about wedding planning...
Until last night.
I realized we are only six months and one week away.
Six months doesn't seem like enough time to get everything done that I want to get done. I could feel the knot in my tummy growing, so I made a list for myself to complete this month (with the help of The Knot wedding app on my phone). I told myself to relax, that I have a great support system in my family and friends, and it would all be perfectly fine. I rolled over, and fell asleep.
My last thought was, "Well, here comes another wedding nightmare..."
Nope.
Instead I dreamed about my sisters and I having a cookout at some house that I have never been in before, and they were grilling mice. Mice. To eat.
To me, mice are single-handily the grossest creatures on earth. I don't think they're cute. I don't think they should be kept as pets. I don't see anything good about them. I think they're sneaky, dirty, and ratty.
And my sisters were going to eat them, grilled & seasoned.
As they were beginning their feast, I remember walking into the back room thinking "this is NOT happening..." ...And then I woke up.
On my drive into work I let this all sink in.
No, no wedding nightmare. No dream about the bridesmaids dresses being the wrong color, or the ice cream cake melting before anyone gets to take a bite... not even a dream about the flowers dying before I walked down the aisle. No wedding nightmare at all the night I had my first mini anxiety attack over wedding details.
Instead, I dreamt that my sisters were eating mice for dinner.
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